Get Stuffed

Morning folks - well it's that time again. 

Time to sit and groan as another mince pie is force-fed into your open, dribbling gob.

Oh yes, It's Ker-ist-mas!

I've had the sprouts on a gentle simmer since October and we're all fully prepared for a day of debauchery. 

Don't you think it's amazing that so much effort and thought is put into just one day and at the end of it, everyone goes:

 "uuuuuurgh, Uncle Tony's stomach has just split, get the hoover will you . . . . urgh . . . well, was that it?"

I do. 

Let's face it, post about 15 years old it looses its appeal don'tcha think? Well, actually, that doesn't seem to be the case with most people and if you are one of them, Wassail!

I do enjoy it though (really!) but, rather like Halloween (and especially what that has become) to me it just seems to be a thing that has utterly lost all meaning. 

I'd love to strip away all commercial aspects of Christmas and see what would happen. 

I do wonder whether people would actually bother. 

But then again, here I am, with a tooter and a Santa hat on my head, awaiting that magical tinkling of bells and the thunder of hooves . . .

Anyway, enough pontificating, you're here for negatives AND positives, so let's get on with it.

There's a lot of reading below, so consider yourself warned. 

It's sort of fun though.

In the words of the marvellous Franco Battiatio in his song Strani Giorni:

"I had fallen into reverie

I dreamed a vague outline

The whisky flowed

Sending me into the past

Action! (roll the cameras)

Here comes a lightning tour of my life!

The two in the corner didn't say a word. "

JANUARY

I started the year off with a Rollei in one hand and a map in the other and got into a new regime with my precious Fridays off. 

I got t'missus to drop me in the vicinity of my work and then headed down through Broughty Ferry and along the Dundee docks waterfront and thence home. 

It is quite a walk - roughly 6 miles.

I liked it so much I did it a number of times.

In a stupidly enjoyable photographic way it was great though - tootling along taking pictures of all sorts of stuff, minding your own business and getting really cold in the process.

Dundee/Bauhaus

It might surprise you, but the above was unfiltered SFX. 

Camera was a 500C/M with 150mm Sonnar . . . 

And no tripod!

Most of it made fairly dull photographs, but I suppose at the end of the day, just what is the point of this stuff we all do?

Are we aiming for world recognition (very unlikely) or are we doing it as a form of catharsis against the madness of modern life? 

I don't know about you, but I find the sense of order in the acts of seeing, composing, measuring, adjusting and then finally taking (not making) a photograph, profoundly comforting . . .

It's a bit like eating 15 Creme Eggs in one session . . .

Well not really, but you know what I mean.

Or do you?

FEBRUARY

Never properly Winter-cold up here, February was more of the same; long walks, poor photos, random finds and fun!

Hurt

The above was taken with my 1971 Nikon F and an old 24mm pre-Ai lens.

I should really have rescued Johnny from his fate.

This was a bin at the side of a hotel.

Lovely.

I was still doing the riverside discovery process, and (strangely, to these end-of-the-year eyes) mentioning something that seemed to be starting to get some prominence in the press - Coronavirus.

Oh and the Doomsday Clock had gone to 100 Seconds To Midnight at the end of January.

Shite

That is the closest it has ever been.

Concerned? Me too.

You can see the timeline here

In the words of my Mother:

"You've made a bloody mess of that!"

MARCH

I got it out of its controlled storage and took the M2 for long walks and had fun. 

I was swapping between the Canon 28mm f3.5 and the Canon 50mm f1.8. 

You could buy these lenses for peanuts years back, but their reputation has slowly increased, especially given the stupid prices of Leitz lenses from the same period. 

Though try and find a 28mm Canon these days . . . 

I like them though.

However, dare I say it, I've had similar results from the old redoubtable Russian Jupiters. 

Ah you didn't know about my Soviet background did you?

Привет, товарищ

Blame a brother with a Zenit E Sniper.

Russian optics are largely regarded as jokes, but there's a fantastic quality to them if you find the right one.

Pyscadelic Pub

Pub shots are always largely hopeless. 

The finest I ever saw was taken by Malcolm Thompson (RIP) of a chap smoking in the Phoenix (in Dundee). 

This isn't anywhere near the same league (though it is the same pub) but it seemed like a good idea at the time. 

Leica M2 and Canon 28mm. Ilford Delta 400 at EI ?1200?. 

All exposures guessed.

Seabraes Bridge

Same Film and lens. 

This is Seabraes Bridge - if you've read FB for a while you'll know I have been photographing it in a certain way for years - well, since it was built actually. 

Curiously, recently, I have started to see official Dundee Council publications featuring the bridge, with exactly the same treatment; that is, letting the reflections (which are many and superb) speak for themselves, so that planes of focus are played with . . . 

Hey, maybe someone from their Art Department is reading this . . and if it is you, HELLO!

Waiting For The Inevitable

Here's one I took earlier - about 3 years earlier actually.

Well before the bridge was constructed.

And also before this chap was ripped off his footings by a storm . . . 

To be left as a disassociated set of eyes in the grass, with . . . 

DOGS CRAPPING ALL OVER HIM.

Camera was my Sinar F. 

The lens was probably a 150mm Symmar-S

Think I was using some sort of compensating developer - what a drag.

After using the M2, fun though it was, it hit me hard that I really AM NOT a 35mm user at all.

Who'd a thunk it!

Seeds were sown. 

Sell the Leica? 

Get it all tootled up and then sell it?

It IS a lovely camera, but really, how much do I use it? 

I actually much prefer the old Nikon F.

I was in not one, not two, but at least five minds . . . 

However, by the end of the year, some stern talking with The Online Darkroom's Bruce has led me to decide to hang onto it and use it - if I sold it and changed my mind I'd never be able to afford another.

Did a stock take and discovered I had a massive stock of film:

20x SFX 120

10 x HP5 120

10 x FP4 120

10 x Delta 400 35mm

+ a couple of boxes of expired 5x4" film (and no inspiration ** - more of this later)

By the 13th of March I was detailing the clearing of supermarket shelves by human locii.

And then lockdown happened.

I wrote: 

"Cold War Paranoia is stalking the land!" 

. . . who knew where everything was going?

And on the 25th, working from home started.

APRIL

After a period of re-adjustment (I don't know about you, but it didn't take long) we all sort of settled into the new regime of working from home.

Gads though, it was hard at times, but me and t'missus dutifully manned our desks - me in here, and she in the a temporary office space in the living room. 

Cup of tea love? 

Magic!

I processed all the colour film I owned (some of it exposed 25 years ago).

The Tetenal kit was about 10 years old too.

Git Out Of Dat Barf - I Need It For Me Film!

It was a proper amateur job, involving washing basins, a bath and hot water, but you know what, much to my surprise the results were absolutely fine.

Who Are You And Why Are You Photographing Me?

Get a roll of Kodak Gold.

Leave it for about 12 years in non-friendly places, like warm rooms etc etc.

Pick up. 

Go "Urgh, wot's this?" 

Stick in camera. 

Take photos. 

Process.

Sheephouse SnappySnaps, we always get your film to you (in the end).

Camera was a Nikon F3, with an old non-Ai 24mm lens.

At the end of the month I took the Hasselblad for a walk around some of the city's old mill areas and was quite happy with the results.

But I've not printed any of those shots, so here's one (of different subject matter!) I took earlier (just to fill up the space and look pretty).

Haunted House Along A Haunted Lane

One of my little lane shots. 

We're littered with them in Dundee - lanes that is not shots. 

This was early morning and I think the 60mm Distagon - the slight glare and early morning haze makes the house look haunted to me - if you know what I mean.

There was a positive from Lockdown. 

We got to know our local area better than before. 

It was amazing how many lanes we went up and came down. 

To be honest, we're very lucky we don't live in a 30-storey tower block in some urban connurbation, rammed with other blocks. 

This small City on the Eastern edge of Scotland does have its advantages.

MAY

May was an incredibly beautiful month - the weather was clement, the skies were bluer (because of the lack of smog particles); birds were tweeting their hearts out. 

Me and t'missus settled ourselves into being a support unit for each other, ageing parents and a son who was missing his social life. I think the whole pandemic has, in a strange way, made familial groups closer.

Time seemed to be a blessing to be used with less urgency.

It was in a way heaven.

I wasn't even thinking about photographs as I needed to catch up and did a spot of printing over a couple of weekends. 

However at the very end of the month, the urge overwhelmed me (well, actually after the worst night's sleep of my life) and I got up really early and detailed a 1960's car park. 

It was quick shoot, but enormous fun.

Car Park

I do so love the light in this carpark. 

I like the concrete brutalism too.

I was so excited by the car park shots that two days later I was out again with a roll of SFX, a home-made infrared filter and the Rollei T.

I was chuffed with the results. 

My old Rollei T (nearly as old as me) still surprises me - weirdly it seems to be one of the lesser-regarded Rolleis. 

You see Rolleicord Vbs selling for more! 

No idea why.

The Tessar is just a single-coated continuation of the original Rollei line before they replaced everything with Planars and Xenotars.

Another Haunted Lane

Set the controls for the heart of darkness.

EI 12 and don't forget your tripod. 

Oh and it's a Rollei so don't forget to move your focus mark forward to f5.6 to adjust for the difference in IR focus.

Good ol' SFX.

I likened it to "HP5+ In A Spangly Mankini" and I still stand by that statement.

To me, .the greatest thing from this enforced period of isolation was Birdsong. 

I don't know what it was like where you live, but having a traffic-free audio landscape populated by birds singing their hearts out, was pure bliss.

JUNE

Ah, flaming June . . . 

It was a lovely month apart from my left eyeball exploding.

Despite this (which sapped any motivation I might have had) I found a great deal on a slightly battered Hasselblad Pro-shade and a 100mm Lee infrared filter.

I tried to do some printing too on Ilford MGRC (expired) and looked out some old prints, among which was this:

Haunted Bridge
(Can You See The Theme Yet?)

This was a 5x4" contact on (torn, not cut!) old Agfa MCC.

Camera was a Wista DX; lens a Super-Angulon f8; film I think was TMX 100.

I was still developing in dilute Rodinal at the time (no, not me you fool, the film).

There's something eerie about it to my old eyes (apart from the cottage at the left, but then there could be a chainsaw murderer living there, so you never know!)

Dere Street

This is a vintage print - about 10 years old.

It was printed on Adox Vario Classic (now gone too).

Camera was my Rolleiflex T with the 16-on (645) masks inserted.

I still love the light in this and there was something about the trees that really transported me in time.

Romans and Royals all used Dere Street.

Unfortunately, in mid-June, a much anticipated trip to Berlin had to be cancelled - drat and double-drat (oh go one then, and triple-drat!)

I bid farewell to birdsong and time and returned to work at the end of the month.

It was like Lockdown had never happened.

JULY

So what do you do with a Hasselblad, a Pro-shade, a Lee IR filter, a roll of SFX and some time? 

Yes, you go and waste it.

I'll say no more except read the specs of your film and filter.

Well, actually you might be puzzled by that statement. 

Basically, Ilford's SFX isn't a true IR film, just HP5+ in a spangly mankini. 

It only works with a narrow range of filters:

WRATTEN 29 - DEEP RED - EQUIVALENT = B&W 091 

WRATTEN 89B - VERY DEEP RED - EQUIVALENT = HOYA R72 and HELIOPAN RG 695

I spent 2 hours carefully taking all these great photos with the SWC/M and then an hour+ developing them only to find I had lots of shots of my out of focus filter ring.

I was so cheesed-off, that the following week I just went to a lost spot in this city, just so that I could and discovered that homeless people (person?) had been using this lost area of land as a camp.

I detailed it here. 

I should explore it more.

Abandoned Latrine

Camera was the SWC/M again. 

The print has scanned well. 

It's bog standard Ilford MGRC developed in the last of my Kodak developer.

Slowly but surely all Kodak stuff is being eradicated from my life.

That is VERY sad, but unfortunately the powers that be price it like they think it's a privilege to use their products. 

For some people (Hello America!) it is like breathing - i.e. a total necessity, oh but the shareholders require a profit . . .

Well. just a thought, how's about this - cut the wholesale price, so that it'll sell at £5 a roll of 120 not nearly £8 and then you'll sell twice or three times as many.

It's simple economics.

Future sorted.

At the end of the month I went and re-trod my own tripod holes around the back of Duncan Of Jordanstone Art College. 

I'd love to get in and teach people film properly. 

Sadly I don't think the fire is there to get people out with a roll of film and get down and dirty with developing and printing it. 

It seems to be (and semi-verified by a lecturer I spoke to) all 'imaging' . . just re-read that word . . . Gaaaaargh! 

Fecking hell . . . Joe McKenzie's LARGE legacy seems to have been diluted to the point of:

"Wot's the point?"

Anyway, 'nuff sour grapes, I'm not quite a miserable old git yet.

My eyes were playing merry hell with me and it was hard to get motivated, but I somehow did.

Ghastly Poster

OK, it is hardly inspiring.

Hasselblad 500C/M and 150mm Sonnar

It's printed up lovely though, on some NOS Agfa MCC 5x7"

There was just something truly ghastly about this aged and splatty poster I couldn't resist. 

My Mum would have called it 'Perverse'.

It never ceases to amaze me that you might keep on treading the same old ground, but there's always something to photograph!

AUGUST

Desperate to break the bounds of my eye-depression, I hit the ground running and went to a sacred site (pre-Dawn) and took what I think is my own personal favourite landscape photograph . . . ever . . .

This is it.

Ritual Landscape

The light was incredible and this felt special as I was taking it. 

Weirdly it isn't entirely sharp across the frame, so I can safely assume my gorilla-like grip on the cable release was causing camera shake.

The tripod was a tad unsteady too as I was perched on a couple of rocks in the river.

SWC/M and FP4+

I like to think that the Old Earth Gods of the place were smiling on my supplication for light and atmosphere.

I couldn't believe it when the negatives emerged from the wash.

The negative printed like a dream.

I have to say, despite the fact I am still paying it off (some two years later!) my Hasselblad SWC/M (Florence) was an investment in pure pleasure.

SEPTEMBER

After years of wishing and asking, I finally got my son up a Munro. 

We had a brilliant day despite the near-50mph winds on the tops. 

It was enough of a pleasure for him to ask when we could do it again!

The Road Home

Y'know, a SWC/M makes a surprisingly decent travel camera.

It's light and not too farty-aboot.

We still had about 4 miles to go, but at least it was all downhill.

The end of the month was a holiday next to one of Scotland's great rivers. 

Please Leave Deliveries In Bag

This was a strange one.

Nothing changed with regard to the bag for a whole week.

Not a very good print though - way too contrasty.

SWC/M and HP5+. 

Such is the wideness of the lens that from the tripod's position I could almost touch the gate.

Faery Path

Imagine being perched on a wall that is on average 4-5 feet high and about 2 feet wide, with a river on one side and thorn trees on the other.

In the twilight.

With a tripod.

Camera was Hasselblad 500C/M and 60mm Distagon. 

Film was Ilford FP4+

It was pure bliss and I was able to indulge twilight walks with a lot of camera work. 

The results weren't great, but the further on I get with this thing we call photography, I realise that that probably isn't the point.

'Faery Path' is so called because the first thing my wife said when she saw it was "That looks faery!'

Whilst on holiday, not to be outdone, my right eyeball quietly exploded too.

That's not one, but two PVDs (Posterior Vitreous Detachment) missus - cooooor, you don't get many of those to the pound do yer luv? Eh!

Dundee Museums produced a Joe McKenzie 'Love Letter To Dundee' exhibition. It was bloody marvellous to see the old masters prints in the flesh again. If all this ghastly lockdown stuff stops and things get back to normal, please find some time to see it (if it ever travels).

OCTOBER

My busiest weeks at work ever meant that I couldn't photograph - I was too knackered and had no days off (apart from the weekends . . . snoooooooze). 

It was a personal triumph to have packed the number of things I did, however I did end up with tendonitis.

A hero of mine, Eddie Van Halen died this month.

It was a tragic end to a true innovator and whilst I never liked their music post-Women And Children First, Ed was a great guy. 

What a lot of people didn't get was his endless search for great sound and yet he had it in spades already. 

A man with numerous patents to his name and a constant thirst to do new stuff, he sadly got tracked into the endless parade of Greatest Hits re-treading tours that seems to plague the majority of 'legacy' acts.

It was almost like caging a Lion.

I saw out the month playing my old Peavey Wolfgang Standard (a guitar he designed) to death, further compounding the tendonitis.

Kudos to his son Wolfgang for not jumping on the making as much money as possible in a short space of time bandwagon. 

Sit tight on your Dad's legacy Wolfie - it needs to be treated with respect.

Women & Children First

Norman Seeff is the photographer

If that doesn't look like a Zeiss Softar on a 150mm Sonnar, well.

There's a softness yet clarity. 

Look up his work - hell of a photographer.

I also managed to find a (fairly) cheap deep red filter on ebay and had a bash at using Ilford SFX with the Hasselblad in desperately DULL conditions. 

How dull was it? 

Well, suffice to say, it was like the sun hadn't risen.

At all.

Ever.

And wasn't going to ever again.

Monkey Wave

I like this.

Basically it was so dark, I pointed my camera at the sky for the sheer hell of it, opened the shutter and this is what turned up. 

Film was Ilford SFX, camera was the SWC/M

I ended the month on only one film shot and processed - there's lazy for you mister.

NOVEMBER

Ah November! 

A month when the skies greyed-out and sun was never seen . . . or at least that's how it seemed.

I would say this has been the greyest Autumn I can ever remember. Normally there's some let-up, but global warming has meant that waves of storms and cloud come in off the Atlantic with predictable regularity - i.e. ALWAYS at the weekend.

It was sheer torture actually - maybe I'll just become a house photographer like Edward Steichen at the end of his life - this being said, I'm not sure whether you've looked at any of Steichen's last days pictures, but for what on the surface seem to be loads of inconsequential stuff, there is a quiet acceptance of the mores of life fixed deep in them. It seems like he anticipated the end. The colours are wonderfully funereal.

Talking of Steichen, I had forgotten I had this:

A lucky find in a charity shop for a fiver. 

The binding is sheer quality, considering it was given as a present to someone in 1963.

It moves me to tears every time I read it.

Taschen - a lovely hardback reprint would be perfect please, and thank you.

It is in my opinion one of the finest photographic books ever made, because it isn't just a collection of great images (which it is) it is more than that, it's a statement that came 10 years after the most terrible conflagration. 

It's an appeal to live and let live, to tolerate (to a point); to accept that no one is ever going to agree with you totally, but that's their human right. 

It is something we all need to think about these days - I think my Mum and Dad and indeed yours, would be mightily pissed off at the state we've got everything into.

Whilst looking around, I found this statement by Steichen which I think nails the art of traditional photography on the head:

“I don't think any medium is an art in itself. It is the person who creates a work of art. It's perfectly clear that photography is different from any other medium — but that's only procedurally.

Every other artist begins from scratch, a blank canvas, a piece of paper, and gradually builds up the conception he has. The photographer begins with the finished product. When that shutter clicks, anything else that can be done afterward is not worth consideration.

At that point the differences between photography and any other medium stop because the photographer has brought to that instant anything any artist has to bring into action for the creative act.”

He's right isn't he. 

Once you take (not make) that moment in time and fix it into place on film, that is it.

You can of course elevate it further through print making, but for a defined moment; a tiny slice of the river of time, well, the negative is the thing.

It doesn't sound like he regarded print making with such profundity, and yet, to me, the two cannot exist without each other.

In this age of screen viewing, having something physical at the end of an often long (and concentrated) process, well, to go all '60's on you . . . it's where it's at . . (man).

Thinking long and analogously about this, howzaboot the following:

If the negative is say, the page, then the print (or prints [as in all you have ever done]) is the whole book. 

A page on its own can be meaningless, but a whole volume, well . . .

Maybe that's a way of looking at your prints and negatives. 

They are your story. 

All the time you've spent making images. 

Travelling and looking and snapping and processing, and eventually turning those small bits of time turned physical, into something that you can show to someone and say: 

"Look, this is mine  - I made all this!"

I've often wondered what this space-consuming collection of old print boxes, plastic sleeves and (occasionally looked at) bits of paper were there for. And now I think I might have found the answer.

They're me.

However, as my old mate, childhood chum and respected Aunty (whom I never met) Ursula K LeGuin would have said: 

'Endless are the arguments of mages . . . '

Anyway . . . onwards!

I've long been intrigued by some of John Blakemore's time-based photographs and so I thought that using a ND would help me copy him. So, guess what, I bought a (slightly faulty) ND off the same bloke I got the B&W red from.

It's a Tiffen. Beautifully made too - actually the bay 60 thread is smoother than the B&W. Neither however compare to 1960's and 70's Nikon filter rings - they're smoother than a pint of Guiness West Indies Export Porter with a Brylcreem sandwich.

However, as I later discovered when I actually re-read his book (surely someone somewhere should reprint it!) he used a view camera and numerous slight exposures. 

I (being a twat) opted for the sledgehammer and nut option and slapped the filter on, stopped down and stood about whilst dodging the reciprocity failure bullet.

FP4 at EI 12?

You betcha!

Balgay Cemetery

I like the plasticity of this image.

It's not a great print, but it will suffice.

I was perched with tripod on top of a bench to get a better feeling of depth and height.

Exposure was about 10 seconds in bright Winter sun.

And that was November.

DECEMBER

Well that's now isn't it, and if you have got this far, thank you once again. 

You know, I've been blogging since 2012.

It has been a consistent commitment from me and though it has settled into a gentle monthly rhythm, I've enjoyed it. 

I know some of you have been reading since the start and I'd like to say a really big thank you to you for keeping going!

As for anyone else, well, dig deep - there's tons of interesting (a matter of opinion) stuff about cameras and the photographic process - you can access the whole lot at the right hand side in the Search This Blog box . . . it's to the right of this and up near the top of the page.

FB isn't a Pleez-Pleez-Pleez-Miss-Pleez-Miss-Look-At-Wot-I've-Got-Miss-Pleeeeeeeeez-Miss, sort of thing like many blogs, no. Hopefully it is a bit more thought provoking than that.

Writing this has helped me (and in turn maybe helped you) through some photographic thought processes and general good practice (uncommon for me admittedly).

Anyway, to round things off, this month I have come to some conclusions and gone a bit mad.

The main conclusion is this. 

The end is nigh. 

You get to half your allotted years and it really strikes you.

So with that in mind, what better way to approach things, but with a new vigour and enthusiasm.

It is so easy to get caught in the 'can't be arsed' frame of mind!

YOU SIMPLY CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN!

So, for next year, or even the rest of this year:

Get Yer Finger Oot.

Get to it.

Take photos.

Make prints.

Blow your pension. 

As a wise man's dead Aunty once said to me:

"There's no pockets in a shroud!"

Too bloody right.

For myself, I've discovered that I have nigh on 90 sheets of expired 5x4" film - most of it is Kodak and died around 2013/2015. 

So I have gone from thinking - I really can't handle a view camera any more, to, right, I am going to crack this bastard and get back on and use the Wista (and Sinar). 

Hopefully this season will see me with enough time to actually do it. 

I've even bought some Adox FX39II because of the shorter times for tray processing. 

Wish me luck.

Ferkin' Hell . . .When Did That Happen?

Anyway, that's it.

As always, many thanks for reading - I hope there was something of use and/or interesting in this. If it provokes thought . . . good. 

If it provokes laughter . . . even better.

I am off now - hopefully it'll be a good long break with a dark cloth over my head. 

I should have something new for you in January, so till then, stay safe and have a brilliant time.

And remember that if you boil enough sprouts now, you can have them all year round.

TTFN xxx.